Addiction and recovery are aspects of a universal human dynamism involving taming sensuous instincts and developing responsibility towards ourselves, our community, and our world. Addicted people in recovery can use this heroic viewpoint to propel them forward, taking part in a role of expanding consciousness and enriching psychological growth. The authors of AA recognized this when they spoke of “spiritual development”, which indicates a move away from selfish materialism: overcoming cheap, temporary thrills, embracing communal principles, and engaging a practice of selflessness that leads to power and responsibility. This is the antithesis of addiction: a path to freedom paved on a foundation of self-mastery.
Here, I’d like to illustrate the steps to self-mastery with help from the Ten Ox Herding Pictures of Chinese Zen Buddhism. These ancient images offer us a tradition: struggling with the appetites of desire, and at the same time working towards a free and serene life. Whatever your addiction is, find yourself in this sequence, and focus on the image that speaks to you.
I’ll summarize the images and comment on their relevance to our work, with an emphasis on translating things from a recovery perspective. Remember that the “Ox” represents our addicted appetites, and the “Ox Herder” represents our best self.
First, we notice the Ox’s footprints. This corresponds to initial awareness of a problem; there’s evidence of a strong beast, although we don’t see it yet. Many addicted people discover the Ox’s footprints and tell themselves that they still have plenty of time. But the ox is trampling the green grass, and “who knows what sprouts are crushed under his hooves?” If we wait too long, he may have ruined things.
Next, we find the Ox and get a rope around him, but at this stage he’s impossible to handle. He seems to have unlimited strength and simply pulls us along with him wherever he goes. As we are dragged along, we must exert terrific determination and inner grit. Remember, though, that many of us have been very determined in our addiction, in other words, we were resolved to do “whatever it takes” to get drunk or high! This is the same struggle, but now in reverse: we have to do whatever it takes to slow the Ox down, little by little. This is noted in the AA Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book where it reads, “Nearly every serious emotional problem can be seen as a case of misdirected instinct.” (p. 42)
Next, we have succeeded in slowing the Ox down and he’s following along, but not completely tame. We keep the rope on him tight, ready to correct him when necessary. This is the disciplining phase, the slow transforming of his wild and impulsive nature. This is “the grind” that feels endless, but it’s also a major turning point. We’ve taken our stand and we’ve evened the score. From here we’re probably exhausted, but we’re also winning!
Finally, we coexist alongside the Ox without using the rope: he has become tame. This stage corresponds with a practiced sober life that has real structure and momentum. In the image, the Ox “feeds” meaning that he’s no longer trampling the green grass, but instead he’s eating it. In other words, our needs and desires are truly nourished and sated by what can actually fill us up and make us happy. When our instincts are fulfilled, we become peaceful and loving.
Note that the Ox needs the Ox Herder to tame him so that he can enjoy what really matters. We don’t want our instincts, our traumas, our inner-child, etc., to tyrannize us, but we want to help those instincts find peace so that we can be happy. For example, all parents understand the dangers of indulging spoiled children: when they get everything they want, it just makes them miserable. But helping children tame their desires promotes self-esteem and success. Believe it or not, our wildest desires are actually the substance of a meaningful life, but only if they are tamed . That is why in some versions the Ox Herder is shown riding the Ox, because those same instincts are a gift when there is mutual trust; then they work on our behalf, and deliver the most precious gifts.
The next image is difficult to analyze; in a sense, our practical analysis stops here. But if we are willing to be open-minded, we can wonder what it means that first the Ox disappears, and then the Ox Herder along with him, leaving only the moon. Maybe one day we will be able to explain this! It is the mystery of what happens after we have become balanced, wise, and serene.
In the final image the restored Ox Herder returns to help others. This is paralleled in the Twelfth Step of AA that invites recovered people to help each other. Really, anyone who has made progress on their recovery journey can help someone else; and anyone who has learned to transform their suffering into wisdom can show someone else how to do the same. What can be more important than passing on what we have learned? Serenity can be our example; we can lead with “attraction rather than promotion”.
If you like this Ox Herding model – if something about it resonates with you – I invite you to google the full set of images. It’s very old, and in the old days people were much closer to nature; it was more natural for them to associate happenings in their lives with plants and animals and rhythms of the seasons. The struggle against destructive instincts is age-old, so we can take a good lesson from those past generations.
Psychologically, the Ox Herder images represent achievement of health and balance through sustained effort and conscientious practice, something that should always be emphasized in recovery from addiction. The “Ox” is a brute, but get a rope around him and slow him down until he learns! This means to never give up, because just when you think you can’t stand it anymore, that’s when he rolls over for you! You owe it to yourself to tame your own wild Ox and find the peace and serenity you deserve.